Why do you communicate with someone?

Which of these purposes is most important?

• Convey information
• Show how you feel about your relationship
• Create a good impression
• Convey respect for the other person
• Reach agreement
• Maintain harmony
• Make the other person feel happy
• Maintain the other person’s interest
• Make sure the other person is comfortable and not embarrassed by the conversation.

The style you use to communicate with another person depends a great deal on how you answered this question, but it’s always about the nature of the relationship with the other person and the cultural conventions that shape that relationship. Is there a difference in status or rank in your relationship? Are relationships compartmentalized so that you have different relationships for different activities or areas of interest? Are you from the same or different cultural background?

It is not surprising that the intercultural field includes many whose training is in the area of communications. The way people communicate with each other does quite frequently vary with culture, and communicating across cultures is also different than within a culture. Some of this was touched on in the January 8 issue on humor.

One of the most frequently noted differences in communication style is the contrast between direct and indirect communication. The U.S. culture is often seen as tending to be more direct in its communication, but many cultures will use a direct approach for giving information. Malaysian and Japanese cultures may typically place a higher value on an indirect approach to save “face” and avoid expressing something that could cause the other person to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, but even in the U.S., people often try an indirect approach when they are worried about how their communication will be received. Another communication style difference frequently noted is the contrast between those who express emotion while communicating and those who are restrained in expressions of emotion. Here the Italians might be seen as more emotive in the communication and the British as restrained.

Mitch Hammer has developed a intercultural conflict styles inventory that looks at these two dimensions of difference and helps people identify their preferred style of communication when dealing with conflict. It’s a very interesting instrument, as it touches on areas of difference that can cause misunderstanding.

• Receiving communication that is too direct feels like criticism.
• Communication that is too indirect may not be received at all, or may seem deceptive.
• Emotionally restrained communication can sound as if you do not care.
• Emotionally expressive communication can sound as if you are out of control.

It’s useful to see how your communication might be misinterpreted, and to see how you may be misinterpreting others as well. I have taken the inventory several times, and each time I learn something, and each time result is different. Each time I’m focused on a different type of conflict, involving a different relationship and a different issue. Sometimes I think about the communication I would want to receive; sometimes I think about the communication I’m comfortable giving.

I can’t say that this shows an enormous ability on my part to code switch between cultural styles of communication; it’s probably rather huge ambivalence about conflict in general. But there are also many times when I feel it is so important to save face and times when I want to be able to show how important I feel the relationship is, or how much the issue is tied up with my own sense of self. Sometimes I really want to work through an intermediary who can plead my case and make my explanations for me. I’m not sure I ever do this well.

Sheila Heen, the author of the communications self-assessment tool embed below has created a communication style template based on their research of successful communication about difficult issues within the context of U.S. cultural norms. When I took the quiz, my results revealed that I should try to be more direct and that I should prepare more for having difficult conversations, and included some detailed advice on how I might do this.

The existence of this tool proposes that communication style is something that can be taught and deliberately used in a particular context. So, it may well be that even if I am less than perfect in the communication style seen as typical of the USA, those coming from other cultures might use this quiz to learn how to adjust their communication style to deal with a difficult issue they have with a colleague from the USA. Just don’t expect your U.S. counterpart to conform perfectly to the “Have the talk America” style.

Bettina Hansel

Director of Research, AFS International

On December 10, 2007 I reported on an article in Intercultures, an online Canadian magazine, that focused on cultural differences in cognitive style, or patterns of thinking.

My husband recently led me to this item.

I'm not a fan at all of the title "hard-wiring" since it implies something immutable and not learned patterns. Contrary to the title, the research that is reported shows different "training" of the brain in different cultures and documents different ways of thinking about an experience through the intensity of activity in different parts of the brain in individuals from different cultures.

Most interesting for AFS is the suggestion of the researchers that perhaps brain patterns change with an exposure to another culture. "There's a hint that six months in a culture already changes you," he said, referring to psychological, rather than neurological, research. "It suggests that there's a lot of flexibility."

Bettina Hansel

Director of Research, AFS Intercultural Programs

Cultural Assumptions on Health

Thinking about the video clips of Jacques Tati and Rowan Atkinson from the last issue of this blog reminded me of how much of an intercultural experience involves physical reactions. The research we have done with Mitch Hammer using the Intercultural Development Inventory has brought home the fact that we often tend to minimize cultural differences by focusing largely on how, deep down, all human beings are the same. Yes, we are all physically similar, but how differently do we care for our bodies? I was struck recently at how, in spite of globalization, a pharmacy in another culture, for instance, feels foreign and familiar at the same time. Shelves of products to heal and soothe, to care for our bodies, a pharmacist who knows the drugs and will listen as you describe your symptoms, and yet the packaging is different from place to place. A minor difference or one with more importance?

I seem to always find myself in a pharmacy when traveling, though I don't always find what I am looking for. A hair brush, in Groningen, for instance. Or nail clippers, in Andalucia. Or perhaps it was deodorant, someplace else. Essential components of U.S. personal hygiene are not always found in pharmacies, though my first instinct is to start there. And should I have a cough or a sore throat or an allergic rash, I will always go the pharmacy and ask to speak with the pharmacist, and typically I come away with an unfamiliar-looking medicine.

Cultural differences in how we care for our bodies and deal with illness are often larger than we might assume, and our attachments to our particular cultural patterns are frequently very strong. My experiences of illness as a child were not extreme, but the special tray by my bedside and the Jello, toast, tea, cola or ginger ale I was served when my stomach was upset have become equated with a quiet, comfortable convalescence. Once while in Brazil I became very ill and unable to keep any food in my system. The friends I was staying with lovingly cared for me, but with a very different set of ingredients, all quite unexpected and some, like the boldo tea, were quite horrible, I thought. What I craved so much was a cola or a ginger ale, and only this, it seemed, would cure me. I had to explain my strange medical beliefs to my friends, who chided themselves for not having thought of my customs, and quickly provided the needed beverage. Within a day, I was again able to eat, to take a walk, to go to the beach.

I have been lucky with my health generally, but I have seen enough illness to realize that no culture is entirely successful in its remedies. I have my own faith, somewhat shaky at times, in "western" medicine, but this doesn't explain the documented power of the placebo against which all new medicine is tested, or my belief that I needed a cola to relieve my stomach distress.

According to the schema of the 5 Frameworks that we've been using, encountering cultural differences in values and assumptions can be dramatically more difficult emotionally or more threatening to individuals, and can lead to defensiveness. I was recently talking with a colleague from Hong Kong who has lived in the United States for several years. She was fighting a cold and we were discussing the Chinese medicine she uses. She told me that it typically works for her, but never works for her American friends. But this time, the Chinese medicine wasn't working for her, either. We wondered if there was a relation to the diet and the effectiveness of the medicine. Maybe Chinese medicine needs to work with a Chinese diet. But maybe it's also the cultural assumptions we carry about what is effective, and what we believe will work.

In the meantime, my colleague gave me some of her Chinese cough drops to deal with my cold and sore throat. They worked very well for me.

Understanding (or Not) Humor Across Cultures

How often have you sat smiling while a friend from another culture explains the humor of the joke he has just told, which you did not understand? Or, more likely, you understood what was told, but didn't find it funny. Perhaps you even found it offensive.

And yet humor can frequently be disarming, which is just the hope of Sayed Kashua, an Israeli-born Arab who has created a television show that hopes to ease tension between Jews and Palestinians through its humor. As reported in the New York Times, the show may be appealing to the Jewish audience, but  Straddling Cultures, Irreverently, in Life and Art also underscores the difficult and sometimes dangerous path that Sayed Kashua has taken. As Mira Anwar Awad, an actress in the TV show, states in the clip from the show on the Times web site and on You-Tube, "When you want to criticize something, bring it in a joke and it stings the most." Jokes about other cultures and cultural differences are told in many countries, most often attributing some foolish behavior or absurd belief or assumption to the other culture.

Appreciating humor is highly dependent on your understanding of the cultural context where the humor originated. Understanding the language is usually required, but even a good understanding of the language is generally not enough to make you laugh. Many jokes fall into one of several standard patterns established by the culture in which they emerged, and much depends on the listener's familiarity with the formula. In the USA, children's humor is often in the form of riddles, and a well-used formula is the "Knock-Knock" joke. (To which the listener must reply, "Who's there?") An adult joke in the USA could easily begin with "A man walks into a bar..." A series of Russian jokes depends on knowledge about some characters from famous movies: Chapaev (based on a real national hero from the times of the October Revolution and the Civil War in the 1920s), or Schtirlitz (a fictional character from a very popular movie in the 1970s) and other characters from these movies are found in jokes called anecdotes. This is difference in language use between cultures: the formulas for telling a joke.

Non-verbal behavior is used extensively in comedy. Some more memorable examples can be found in this restaurant clip from Jacques Tati's film Les Vacances de M Hurlot. Watch this clip and pay special attention to the non-verbal behaviors shown. The humor typically depends on understanding the expected behavior and how much the behavior shown by some of the characters deviates from this expectation. Keep in mind that non-verbal behavior includes such things as dress or tone and volume of voice. While the French humor in this film may seem understandable to many, it's interesting to note that several French films in recent years have been reproduced as US movies, shifting not only the language but the cultural context and, to some extent, changing the humor to suit US audience expectations. Similarly, although the USA and the UK share a language, British comedian Rowan Atkinson's portrayal's of Mr Bean and other characters have never been particularly successful in the United States yet have been wildly popular in many countries where English is not spoken, as pointed out in the New York Times article, Mr. Bean Bumbles on Voyage Across Pond. Rowan Atkinson relies on a similar type of physical humor and similar subject matter as Jacques Tati, but both depend on their own cultural traditions and contexts.

I've often remarked about how PowerPoint is a culturally specific way of thinking, and the structures provided such as . . .

. . . demonstrate a particular way of organizing information. Even more so are the structured content assistants that suggest how to use PowerPoint to deliver bad news, to make a sale, to explain something, etc. So I was very grateful to Cathy Moore's "Making Change" blog for pointing out this humorous Clemens Kogler video that takes an absurd chain of relationships and PowerPoint charts to explain the meaning of everything. While the humor will not translate to every culture, this is probably a very good example of US humor based on the context of "how we think" - a spoof on the cognitive style embedded in the structures of PowerPoint.

Bettina Hansel

Director of Research, AFS Intercultural Programs